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As you know, lately I have been more active around here,. And that's a good thing.
I've been creating more pieces in the last few weeks..
It's just that I feel so useless, everytime I create a new piece, I'm very happy about it,.
Untill I look at other artists who I think are much better then me,. I'm so worried about how I will evolve, what if I eventually stop getting any better, I mean I can see an evolution through the years in my drawings and paintings, but what if it just stops, at some point..
What if my art just stops evolving..
I mean do I even have an own style? Is my art recognizable? Do you see it is mine if you would see it somewhere,. Is my art not special enough?
I so badly want to be a good artist,. Maybe I am too lazy, or scared to even try to step in that world.. I shoulden't be so afraid to even try and make something in the world of artists,. But am I even good enough?
I like what I make,. But is it good enough?
Also I wish to skilled at digital art too.. But I'm afraid that will alter my style even more..
And If I were to try it.. It would be like starting all over,. Learning how to draw again.. I bet it will look like sh*t at first.. I don't want to go through that.. It will get me even more frustrated probably..
Anyhow, I want to be a digital artist because I believe that is what people want these days, for art.. You don't see traditional art as much as before.. Nowhere..
I'm also afraid of loosing the conection between me and the piece,. The contact between the paper and paint is gone.. No more getting hand dirty, no more messyness.. I will miss that.. Will I be leaving my standards?
Pffftt.. I'm just a big whiney whiner..
Am I overreacting? But this is what gets me so down.. It all feels so useless, what I do.. For who am I creating art? Only for myself? Only for my own pleasure? Will that ever be enough for me..Journal Skin